Do you and your partner have different parenting styles?  If so, you’re both probably experiencing a great deal of relationship tension when it comes to disciplining, setting boundaries, or guiding the children.

Most marriage and family therapists would agree that a “united front” is the most effective way to parent.  But therein lies the question:  how do you present that “united front” when you each have different values, or expectations?

Are you feeling that your mate is too strict, or hard on the kids, or stingy?   Or perhaps you think that the children are being “spoiled” by your partner, are being handed everything on a silver platter, and are not learning good values?

Do you worry that your mate is not cautious enough with your child’s welfare, and are nervous when they are alone together?   Or do you feel that your mate is a “worry-wort” and overprotective — in fact, creating unnecessary anxiety in the children.

Does it drive you crazy that your partner doesn’t seem to care what kind of grades your child gets in school?    Or do you feel that your mate is simply too hard on your child, and takes academics much too seriously?

These are just a few of the issues which surface when individuals have different parenting styles.  In our counseling sessions, we will explore the differences between the two of you, and will also reveal similarities.   Each of you will gain a better understanding of your partner, and will, in turn, feel more understood — and appreciated for having a particular point of view.  Together, we will forge compromises which will work well for all parties.

As a result, you two will have a much smoother time of child rearing.  And even more importantly, your children will feel happier and more secure.  They will not feel negative feelings toward the “stricter” parent, nor will they feel they can manipulate the “easier” parent.  They will not feel they can play one parent against the other.  They will simply know what both parents expect from them, and the message will be clear cut.